Sometimes I want to blend in. Be less unique.
But I know that each person was created separate and not at all like another.
Though it may seem as though people fit together better because they appear to be the same, my heart knows that they aren't. Their individual nature still exists.
In my thirties, I still feel left out and schoolgirl-ish. I remember those feelings of way back then and deny their resurrection.
It's true though, I want to hide still today.
We're not the country club family. Or the multi, multi-sport family.
We don't connect with many people outside ourselves or our little tiny community of close friends and family.
It's sometimes lonely to live our story.
Our son dreams of what it could be like with multiple siblings. And I wonder if we'll always be just three.
Just deciding to do what we want or what every one else seems to be doing isn't for us. It doesn't feel right.
And that's where I am reminded that we're unique. Every one of us.
It's not always comfortable to do what is most right for ourselves. In fact, often it's incredibly uncomfortable.
Yet, we know that it would feel even more uncomfortable if we denied the tug inside us to be different from her or them.
We honor Him who created us when we don't try to blend in.
We respect our Father when we obey the inkling He speaks to our heart to choose different.
We challenge others to see Him when we live by faith and trust that our uniqueness is for purpose.
It's not easy to live this way. For many it's not something they are willing to do, though I would reckon to say that every single one of us faces this dilemma quite often.
Choose to be unique me...or get tripped up by trying to be someone who I am not.
He allows this struggle, even as we age, for our pride to succumb to our need for Him.
Age tends to bolster pride in ourselves, our abilities, our knowledge.
He calls us to be like children who listen to their Father and trust.