Thursday, June 7, 2012

being willing


A few changes have been happening in my life.

It's taken a long, slow journey to get to this moment. And I am readied for what might come in my story.

More than ready, I am *willing* and that matters most of all.

I haven't just surrendered to what's coming next, as though I'm being entertained as a movie goer.
It's about my heart wanting to participate as an actively engaged member of the cast.

Stepping out of the dark corner and stepping forward to declare that I want to do this, gives way to effectiveness and influence as beautiful outcomes of my willingness for this moment.

Being engaged with the story gives me a sense of ownership. 

We are responsible for our attitudes and in turn the outcome of our lives is influenced a lot by us.
There's such truth in that and it's overwhelming for me to think about.

I'm tempted to think about what I might have missed out on in life by not being *willing*.
And yet, the stubbornness of Then speaks to me Now.
I'm learning and growing, and really that matters most.

In this part of my story I'm growing in my faith. 

Fear is dissolving in the ways it can tend to lead me.
I am choosing courage to trust that there is purpose in every thing.

Considering a new position at work and what is good for the organization, I ponder what I want.

Truth is, I have no idea what I want. Being okay with that is a powerful place to live. 

I've backed into a job by way of examining what gives me the most energy in my work.
How I can tap into that enthusiasm and passion more of the time.

Counter to society's perception, these are called strengths--
     The moments in the *whirl and twirl* of living where I feel strong, not drained and deflated.

I haven't known what I want. But I know what I like

Being *willing* is like closing my eyes and sampling pistachio ice cream, sweet and delicious.
Finding out the ice cream is actually green, after doing the savoring, is a discovery I wouldn't have imagined.

I instantly smile at the surprise of seeing what's before me after I've tasted with courage.

Being *willing* for any. thing. influences ourselves to surrender.

Our pride and preconceived notion of what something looks and feels like can distract us from opportunities that might teach us more and really, ultimately use us in more purpose-full ways.

I am more effective when I am living in the areas that tug at my heart. 

When passion bubbles up and I feel in the zone, focused and engaged,
I can do more and not get bogged down by fear and self.

Standing in Wonder over how I can play a role in His story, I can't help but say--
     Use me as You Will. I surrender mine.

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