Wednesday, April 3, 2013

diagnosis


It's been a particularly challenging several months for our family.

Nothing huge or life shattering. Just enough to be a nuisance and yet mild enough to keep us from change.

There are things we want to do in the *whirl and twirl* of our days that don't fit into a standard mold.

Dreams. Visions. Promptings. Passions. Callings.

We recently reached a point where we decided that enough is enough. We've been troubled by some challenges we've had with our son and it's time we do something about it beyond question and wonder.

     (Tell me, what eight-year-old boy doesn't appear to have an attention issue?) 

So this is it.

Diagnosis time. Margin readiness.

We're popping the bubble and relieving some of the pressure.

The typical public school structure and rhythm creates stress that we have realized we can avoid.

We've unwrapped what just might be one of the best gifts of our lives -- Freedom. 

Folks will disagree with us (even my parents).

     Neighbors may think we're strange (perhaps they already do).

     Other folks tell us, "Who cares what other people think?!"

     And others will wish they are doing it, too.

We've gotten assurance in the most unlikeliest places, from sweet souls who remind us that we are the only ones who know our challenges.

We are learning that we are the only ones who can advocate for us. This is our duty. Our responsibility.

I pondered and questioned, and deliberated and decided . . . and questioned and doubted all over again, until I finally realized that there isn't a right answer here.

(And that means there isn't a wrong one, either.)

So we've decided to homeschool.

Effective now.

Tomorrow is The Boy's last day in public school for the year, with one quarter still remaining.

It feels a little bit like quitting, but it isn't.

We're clinging to this truth and reaching for grace.

     We're still responsible parents and our son will still be learning.

But, we're pressing pause on the busy and hectic and crazed. Because, it's just been so very chaotic.

And, it's time -- Right. Now. -- to say enough is enough and get some control back. Get our togetherness back.

We're beyond the considering and we're Doing. This. 

With one quarter remaining of the year we have a smaller bite to try.

     Flavors of *different* to taste.

     Sweet and steady to savor, over busy that leaves us bitter.

We don't need a professional to give us a diagnosis. We know that we're stressed. The typical and common is chaotic and we don't have to live it.

The biggest ah-ha and freedom reaching realization ever is this:  

We. Don't. Have. To. Do. This.

We can get off the ride. We really can.

And so we are, thankyouverymuch.

Most of all, we're doing it together -- this choosing, my groom and me. We're aligned and that's a beautiful thing.

Sure it's a bit scary, and daunting, and parts of us feel sad for our boy's mixed up emotions. But the point is we're choosing courage to try Some. Thing., and we're doing this.

So, to the principal who affirmed us and just never made us feel badly . . .

     Thank you

     We appreciate you for caring more about what's right for one child and his family. 

     For setting aside your opinion and helping us to find our own.

     For caring. 
     
     For investing.

     For empowering us as parents . . . 

          to consider and choose to make a change for our own child . . .

          a change that will help us get to know him more fully, 

               and ultimately (we hope) show him how much we accept him, just as he was created. 

     You've helped us to receive grace for differences and embrace how God made us all so unique. 

     Thank you, Mr. Principal.


*This* is worship. 


     Our choosing. Your encouragement.

          And all of our lives lived outward -- Authentically. Courageously. Boldly.

And to all the rest of you, I pray you choose courage to make your own diagnosis' in life and take your own step toward a good treatment for you, and your family. Brave on.





Share your heart . . . add a comment below.

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29 comments:

  1. This is so refreshing. As a homeschooling mom, I often look around at the so-called 'forced' and 'necessary' busyness of lives and families around me and think, "It doesn't have to be that way ..." May you be blessed for your boldness and your decision, and may grace be yours in abundance.

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    1. Thank you, friend. So very much.

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    2. Good for you for having the courage to make the choice that is best for you and your family.

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    3. SO proud of you for knowing your child and being courageous enough to do what the Spirit leads.

      We took each year homeschooling as they came. Never feeling trapped in the decision. Heard some people say "they were called to homeschool.." ... as in they could never make a different choice. That is not how we saw it. We were grateful to homeschool, did tons of fun stuff together, and never regretted a minute of it.

      You will love it too. The goal is the heart of our children. And no one knows your child better than you.

      Enjoy the journey!

      (visiting from Ann's today)

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    4. Thanks you for this, Rhonda. We are taking a similar approach.

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  2. Amy,
    Yay! I am proud of you for parenting, living, and loving "Authentically. Courageously. Boldly." So much good will come of your courage and your faith.
    Peace and good,
    Chelle

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  3. clinging to truth and reaching for grace
    yes, this!

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  4. So proud of you, Amy! I know how hard it is to make these decisions. We had family and friends who objected to us getting Phoenix an IEP, and then putting her on medication. You have to remember that whatever it takes for the kids to exist in the best environment for learning and development you have to do. Even if it looks unorthodox to someone else.

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    1. Yes, considering the environment "for learning" is so important. Each kid is different, for sure. With ours, it's not so much any attention issue as much as it is exhaustion. The pace and structure of the school day is simply too much for his introvertedness. This realization is huge for me.

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  5. Blessings on this transition! We've already started talking about if our son may need this option and how crazy it would be to have one in public school and homeschool the other. I guess we do what is best for each kid, not necessarily what is best for us as parents.

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    1. This is best for us -- all of us -- in many ways, and the reaching for this truth is what honors Him, I think, most. When our kids (even if just one) is placed in a better (not knowing what is truly *best*) learning environment for him/her, it feels better for every other member of the family. Praying the Lord leads you to at least trying out what might be best for your son.

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  6. Bravo and a standing ovation for you, Amy.

    And you're right. Those sudden but necessary life changes can feel like quitting. But you're right: It's not. It's just change, and sometimes God guides us towards change quickly.

    Praying for you and your family as you begin this new venture. Much love, friend.

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    1. Oh, Kristen! Your words are sweetness to me. Thank you! And your prayers, they mean the world to me.

      "sometimes God guides us towards change quickly" -- yes, I am leaning in on this truth; it represents so much to me.

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  7. The confidence you have in this decision is evident in your words. With a girl who is just finishing up kindergarten, I know schooling is a big decision. It was a big decision for us. Our decision to send our daughter to a small, private school was affirmed when someone I barely know told me how much we (my daughter, us as parents) were missing because these were the "best years" at the public school in our district and I didn't feel for a second that we were missing anything. "The typical and common is chaotic and we don't have to live it." Yes - what you said. That's exactly right. Hooray for making a choice that you believe in. I hope you are reassured in it many times over.

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    1. Thank you, Kristin! Your hope in our reassurance "many times over" really means so very much. Your prayers for our son today would mean so much, as it's terrible to watch his sadness over leaving. (yet, it's exactly what he loves about school that leads us to step back from it . . . so that we can focus on his *academic* education!) Thank you, again.

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  8. Popping over from IP today, and so glad I did. We are slowly walking a similar path, and it is so important to remember that each path is different and we just have to pray through it and take care of our babies. Thank you for this!

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    1. Lifting you up, Brenna, and praying His peace washes over all your uncertainties. Rich blessings.

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  9. ah, brave can look so different on each one of us, yes?
    perhaps your brave takes you out of the system, for the good of the one. your one. and perhaps someone else's brave puts them in the heart of it, for good, also.
    it's the *following* that matters, not the "right" or "wrong" we're so obsessed with.
    love your courage, Amy. blessings on your journey!

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    1. Yes, Kelli! This. Exactly!

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    2. Oh I so agree with Kelli, and isn't it in the differences that we can find such joy in the world. To live vicariously through other peoples lives makes living so brilliant.

      Bravo to your choice Amy, not quitting but beginning. Bravo to Mr. Principle for being an excellent example.

      Visiting from IP, & JTHS

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    3. "To live vicariously through other peoples lives makes living so brilliant." <= I love this.

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  10. Love reading of your courage Amy. Prayers will be lifted for you and your family. Blessings.
    Beth

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    1. I do appreciate your prayers as He leads you, Beth. Thank you.

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  11. I absolutely love this and the grace with which you shared it. Thank you so much for your writing! Visiting via Emily.

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  12. Good for you. So VERY good for you. To pick what is right for YOUR family. I'm so proud of you, if that's OK to say. (That word, PROUD, always causing trouble for us as Christians...But I am. I am proud of you. I see how you love.)

    xoxoxo

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    1. As someone who appreciates different perspectives, I see the different meanings in words and their applications in different ways. Your "pride" for me is an excitement for my response to what I know is a good choice for us right now. I appreciate your excitement, friend. God is so good, isn't He? {hugs}

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  13. I am not a parent, but I am a former teacher. I have always said that if I had children I'd homeschool them. I still feel that way, especially now as I see all the changes in education. Homeschool is not always right for everyone, but if it's your heart and what you feel is right for your son, then that is exactly what you should do. I applaud your bravery and wish you well in your new adventure! I stumbled upon you from Chatting at the Sky - so glad I stopped by for a visit.

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