Tuesday, May 29, 2012

enough

Slowly I've been led to a surrendering that leaves me shaking.

I'm confident that this is right and excitement wells up in me.

At the same time, doubt nestles close and whispers her questions.

It's worship. I know it is.

Surrender is always worship.

Still, it aches. And I know, it's not supposed to feel good.

I'm not supposed to know what my act of surrendering means.

I can't possibly know the exponential value of this choice.

What it represents--my wanting to trust Him--is profound. It's meaning-filled.

I don't always trust. I can't fully.

But digging deep and choosing this, it's my worship. This I know.

I'm surrendering conception today. The Wonder for whether we'll have another child of our own. My calendar.

And tomorrow, when the choosing is hard, I hope I do it again.

When it's a tough choosing, I trust He'll lead me again and again.

*Now* gets swept in the corner when I sprawl out my plans for tomorrow. 

I don't want to miss out on the delectable flavor of the bread specifically made for me today.

I want *Now* to be enough for me.
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2 comments:

  1. Oh that *now* would be enough.... I too am learning the art, learning the worship of surrender.... oh how I trip and stumble all over it some days... thank you for this beauty Amy, look at how He's speaking to you..... amazing.... praying for you my friend.

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  2. Your words here are beautiful...true. Surrender is worship - perhaps more authentic than my words most of the time. It's so nice to meet you, Amy.

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