Tuesday, May 29, 2012


Slowly I've been led to a surrendering that leaves me shaking.

I'm confident that this is right and excitement wells up in me.

At the same time, doubt nestles close and whispers her questions.

It's worship. I know it is.

Surrender is always worship.

Still, it aches. And I know, it's not supposed to feel good.

I'm not supposed to know what my act of surrendering means.

I can't possibly know the exponential value of this choice.

What it represents--my wanting to trust Him--is profound. It's meaning-filled.

I don't always trust. I can't fully.

But digging deep and choosing this, it's my worship. This I know.

I'm surrendering conception today. The Wonder for whether we'll have another child of our own. My calendar.

And tomorrow, when the choosing is hard, I hope I do it again.

When it's a tough choosing, I trust He'll lead me again and again.

*Now* gets swept in the corner when I sprawl out my plans for tomorrow. 

I don't want to miss out on the delectable flavor of the bread specifically made for me today.

I want *Now* to be enough for me.

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  1. Oh that *now* would be enough.... I too am learning the art, learning the worship of surrender.... oh how I trip and stumble all over it some days... thank you for this beauty Amy, look at how He's speaking to you..... amazing.... praying for you my friend.

  2. Your words here are beautiful...true. Surrender is worship - perhaps more authentic than my words most of the time. It's so nice to meet you, Amy.