I haven't felt good enough for my own dreams sometimes. Thinking I'm not old enough, experienced enough or good enough, I've kept my hands clenched tight around my dreams, as though it's a precious wubby I can't let go. For a long time, shame told me I should be better, wrangling me with restrictions and rules I was never able to fulfill.
Too often I waited for fear to go away before I obeyed God's call. Making a decision to obey based on how I feel says I know better than Him. I'm learning that fear is not worth the wait.
Regardless of whether fear was invited or not, it is purposed.
Fear can add tremendous value to my life. It challenges me, helps me to consider different perspectives, and sometimes serves as a guardrail to warn me of impending dangers.
Fear is also the house guest known to overstay her welcome. It doesn't have the power it thinks it deserves to decide what I should or shouldn't do, influence my every decision, or evaluate me.
Even though fear doesn't pick up and leave when it's convenient for me or when I think I need it to, I still need to get on with the work I am charged to do. I can't put an "on vacation" sign on my life until this house guest decides to leave.
learning to trust
God specifically crafted me knowing the tendencies and habits I would have, yet He still charged me with specific responsibilities. He asks for me to honor Him by living out the specificity of His design in ways specifically designed for me.
He knew before He created me that I would be messy and popcorn brain in thought. He sees beyond my messes and imperfections, and He purposes them in such a way that reveals the amazing grace that is His love.
God created me perfectly imperfect for a specific purpose.
There will always be days when I question whether I'm in the right place and the right fit for the responsibility. Fear sometimes keeps me from saying exactly what I really mean, or really wish to say. When I make a choice based on fear, chances are I'll make the wrong -- every single time.
I want to shout from the mountains and run through the streets, grabbing every person I come into contact with and tell them:
As ugly as this storm might look, I assure you, you will see beauty! In spite of the storm clouds that threaten your peace, there is brilliant beauty and purpose and grace in this.
Fear's huffiness and assumptions leave me feeling exhausted and not good enough. It barges into the margins of my day and demands attention that I simply can't give it. I need boundaries for discipline to stay focused and deliberate about how I believe God is calling me to spend each allotted day.
All. Is. Purposed.
This isn't just a bumper sticker cliche. I've seen the ways God has made beauty from the broken parts of me.
It's difficult for people to keep up with my messy ideas that sometimes don't make sense or appear practical to the present situation. Truth tells me that my voice matters, even though what I say might not be fully understood. Fear needs to be my silent partner.
loosing fears and saying "Yes!"
Dreams don't mean anything if they aren't pursued. Like the china sitting in the cabinet that might someday get used, we sometimes put dreams in pretty boxes with a cute little ribbon and remark about her beauty. We wait for the day when our schedules or we feel more deserving or worthy.
I wholeheartedly believe that God charged me with a vision that is beyond my capacity, though is something that I need to step into with bold, confident, trust. I believe He called me to lead a team around a God-sized dream that will: unleash and empower men and women to freely live their uniquely created lives.
A steady drip of truth as each story is presented as a broken offering, C'est La Vie: The Magazine will remind us that our greatest offering is to unwrap the grace to simply be, as. we. are., resting in the truth that He purposes and refines us, for His glory.
A printed compilation of stories lived Real and bold, featuring writers who reflect on the process God allows in His making of us, C'est La Vie honors the time He knows we need for Him to sift and edit us through the tornado-like moments of life; much like the process of creating art.
A sprawling declaration of raw worship through gritty, brazen, undisputed, fully human storytelling, C'est La Vie celebrates no-limits grace that frees and unleashes all people to embrace life, as. it. is.
The ultimate dream is a print magazine for the reader to sip and to savor . . . to contemplate and consider the shared and very real, gritty, messy, broken, shamed, and fear-laced human stories. It can be cut apart to inspire in small bites or in whole, much like He does with us.
A print magazine allows the reader to find in her 15-minute vacation of the bathroom, where she needs just a few minutes alone, the truth in knowing she's not alone in her struggles.
building a tribe
C'est La Vie is for men and women, alike, speaking from and supporting perspectives of both genders, as it serves to open the lines of communication and develop a better understanding of one another.
We're building a tribe of men and women to join us in developing C'est La Vie: The Magazine . . .
First we'll build an on line hostel, of sorts -- a place of refuge that feeds and shelters those from the storm of life with radical unconditional love and acceptance of community -- serving as a safe respite for the gritty storytellers who are willing to stand in the arena of truth, in spite of fear . . . presenting life as art and the idea that process is necessary.
We're building a tribe who is willing to explore and pursue hope with us . . . who believes faith is the main thing and fear is meant to be a silent partner.
=> Have you experienced a part in your story where the clouds stormed in and threatened your peace and where now, on the other side, or even in the midst, you can see brilliant beauty?
=> Do you ache to tell the story of redemption that comes through ridiculous pain because you know there is purpose?
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Stay tuned in the coming days . . .
More information will come your way letting you know how you can declare your interest in being part of the tribe developing C'est La Vie: The Magazine.
In the mean time:
ASK :: How did He make you? Ask God to tell you more about what specific strengths and talents He gave you.
BE :: You matter, as you are. Simply be.
CONSIDER :: May your offering be your willingness for "whatever" God invites you to be a part of today.