Father, we come.
as judges and accusers.
we've made assumptions and created expectations.
we've made believing in You out to be like some sort of magical potent . . .
as if we'll suddenly be perfect and all better.
we've expected this of ourselves, as well as each other, and said things like:
"if you were a real Christian, you wouldn't . . . "
"she did that?! . . . and she calls herself a Christian?!"
"if I really believed I wouldn't still be so afraid . . . "
"if You are real, why am I still hurting? . . . "
we've said these things with piousness, and without understanding how You work.
You said that the healthy and well don't go to see a doctor.
You came to save the sick, and we are all so very sick.
we all need You, yet we have no idea what it means to follow You.
we have no clue just how expensive the cost, of You and of ourselves.
You don't start there, though.
You simply say, "follow me."
You don't say: "be perfect," or "now have it all together."
You simply say, "Come. Follow me."
You will do the rest in us.
You will work in us and make us new.
we need just rest.
so forgive us, Father.
forgive us for expecting that we'll be made whole with one "I believe" sweeping statement.
thank You that we can come and follow You with our doubt and our fears.
shift our focus from magic and religion and expectations to accept the grace of Your process.
You know best. might we trust You will break us and bend us, mold us and make us.