Motivated by goodness and honor, we try to be who we know we ought to be and we push them with the same standards.
They pull toward us looking for guidance, yet push us away in rebellion.
We stand with contorted faces expressing confusion and we forget how we do this, too.
Rebellious of the try-hard efforts we push/pull like crazed maniacs. More than an arm wrestle, the days can tend to be an all out brawl. A battle of wills.
Shouting spews forth from our fearful selves as we struggle to maintain control, angry at our weaknesses, and afraid that we might not win the battle in even us.
We tear through our lives with an intensity to somehow find a way to fix ourselves.
Who should we tell our secrets to be freed?
What should we read to make ourselves better?
When should we move from here and step toward the dream?
Where should we go to make ourselves positioned for more right and honorable behavior?
Why should we have hope when we do these things we don't even want to do, yet we do anyway?
We stuff ourselves as if we're chasing after the prize on the bottom of the Lucky Charms box, all the while consuming more and more empty-calorie questions.
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He designed us knowing full well that we will do what we dare not, wish not, hope not, and try not. That we will fail to fulfill the obligatory good-girl behavior.
He's so not afraid of the suffering that we will endure or the depths of the valley of sin. And He knows just how far to take us for our lives to be flip-flopped from ugly to beauty.
He allows us to be -- as we are -- for His glory.
It isn't our goodness that leaves a legacy. Not our own behavior, or our own good parenting, or our own child's conforming. This kind of trying only serves to crush. Stifle. Suffocate.
Might we accept the truth that we (and they) will fail and flop.
That sinful behaving is inevitable. That we're human, after all.
Let's loosen our grip and stop trying so hard. Instead let us live, love, lighten up, and let Him move in us, choosing to accept ourselves (and our children) as the dearly loved ones that we are.
However you need to, play us out to reflect you. Less of us and more of you here in this day. Amen.
this is our worship.