Monday, February 13, 2012


They arrive one after another, making me question every thing.

So many opportunities and I find myself seeking the *perfect* decision.
I deny it, but that's what I'm doing.

Each new invitation for a sports development program or a clinic for this or that, and I've about had it.

What do we do? What should we do? What works for us?

I bend low for the answers. 

And I sleep anxiously, wondering what path my decisions will steer my boy down. Anxiousness makes me wonder if he'll be missing out.

Well intentioned people in our town question different choices.

Comments are made about how successful teams late in high school are a result of children having played together all those years.

Chemistry and connectedness comes through time and togetherness.

There are no guarantees in life. We can't plan for success.
Our dreams could be limitations.

If we plan with expectation for something years down the road, we could be missing out on something important for today.

I think of the way we grow and what we experience when we choose Different

Things happen when we choose a different way.

Fear makes me cringe.

I want to drop all the papers and delete all the emails.
Running away from it all and deciding "no, thank you" is so tempting.

These choices are way more than I ever had when I was a child.
Or, maybe my parents just looked the other way.

Choices are daunting.

Perhaps it's easier than I make it out to be. Or, is it? 

In this world there are so many things and people competing against each other for our time and attention. Making a decision used to be easy for most of us and suddenly we find ourselves paralyzed under the weight of what if.

When do children sleep? I used to think play time was lost. Now I think the concern should be more about rest.

Recently, my job has been transformed into a hybrid of sorts. A job description has been written that divides my time in percentages. Yet, reality tells me that a work day is really a day and a half. Expectations are unspoken, though I know they are there.

To keep the job, we must do more than we ever have before.
Work earlier. Stay later. Rest little.

Sometimes, productivity and efficiency sideline creativity.

I daydream about walking away. Responsibility urges me otherwise.

Sports and music programs are good for kids. I still believe this.

Physical fitness is important for overall health and wellness.
Tapping into the creative side of ourselves contributes to the other aspects of life.

Yet, the competition around us for more and bigger and better only makes us find that we're making adjustments in our convictions. For the sake of what every one else seems to be doing, we begin to think that maybe one or two (or three) late nights isn't that bad. We justify.

Call me inflexible. Or perhaps conservative. Maybe I'm over-the-top.

One thing is for sure, decisions about what to do with my time and my life will continue to be challenging for me (and us).

It may get easier as I absorb what's around me with time. But that's what I'm afraid of. I don't want to absorb the world. I don't want to say yes just because that is what is expected.

I want to choose because it's right for my story, and my family's. 

Living this way is hard.

My groom and I talk about the same things over and over again.

We take our time. We consider. We evaluate. We get frustrated.
We change our minds--again and again.

One thing is for certain, we are living *our story*. No one is doing it for us.

Thank you, Father, that you made us this way--for purpose. 
Help us to choose courage to trust. 


{Grace} Unwrapped... choosing different can change our perspective...

...the calling I've been given not to be ordinary...

...*Peace* and how it changes everything about my living...

...the Boy-Man's willingness to try Any. Thing... living an active life keeps us well...

...the daily discipline that becomes a way of living for me...

...noticing benefits in making deliberate changes...

...the simple life we savor...


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  1. "...noticing benefits in making deliberate changes..."
    It's true- the deliberate changes really do make us new. It's letting the Holy Spirit make those changes that's key. Thanks for the reminder. friend!

  2. We've been where you are with decisions - and one thing we've noticed is that with different boys there are different factors for different decisions - even if it is for the same sport or music. We are called to be a peculiar people - and sometimes, just sometimes, I have to stop myself from going down familiar paths with my children and take unfamiliar ones.

    I love your mothering-heart:)

  3. I hear the love in your you seek for your you seek for yourself...I know He will give you the wisdom...created just for your family to do just what He wants for you...I hate different myself...learning to be more comfortable...more trusting in the different.
    Blessings as you find your way here....

  4. We are always to be seeking and learning as long as we have life. You're a good mom.