Choose Gratitude.
My heart reminded me that the miracle happens after the thanks-giving.
Still, though, I was stubborn.
I didn't want to be a good girl and do as I should.
I wanted to stomp and pout.
The changes in my job that I first learned about four months ago now only boiled up bitter stew. I had been excited for different. But the delay gave me an opportunity to reconsider.
Time festered questions. I urged them to reconsider, too. Yet, having not a specific reason to suggest pause, only kept the conversation going and the plan moving forward.
Months of convincing myself that I was happy with this life and declaring that I don't need *more,* I berated myself for the heart cry having returned. Why do I want? Especially when my groom isn't aligned with me? One child is certainly enough.
Waiting can be torture for us impatient types.
Visions and dreams become achingly painful in the *whirl and twirl* of life.
Realizing that specific dreams are still alive, made me feel shame at my weakness. I thought I was strong enough to denounce them.
Yet, He gives. And I must trust in the purposes of my heart's desire.
Choosing gratitude is worship.
And sometimes, so is admitting that it's a hard choice to make. One I just don't feel like making. And yet, He stays close by and delicately softens my heart. Physician of Soul.
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{Grace} Unwrapped...
...the waiting over and changes to job responsibilities announced...
...Seeing there can be goodness in these changes...
...Knowing that this isn't the final stop...
...how He accepts me just as I am, cranky and all...
...awareness of dreams to remind me He placed them there...
...reminders that I can't just decide my heart...
...trusting that the spilling over of my heart is for purpose...
...believing His timing is perfectly Divine...
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I struggle with this same stubbornness, Amy! It can be very frustrating, until we do give it over to our"Great Physician"! Then, Oh the peace and joy we have!! Don't know why I wait so long to hand it all over to him sometimes. God Bless!!
ReplyDeletei'm right there...so many changes in my life right now...so many expectations i've had that aren't coming to pass. trying to learn how to live with expectancy instead of expectations. not easy for this 49 year old woman who's tried to control things most of her life.
ReplyDeleteI love that He accepts me just as I am, cranky and all too! I think sometimes my kids are hard to deal with. Can you imagine being God and dealing with all of us and our crankiness. He's so good.
ReplyDeleteAmy, your words today echo the storm within me this week. Thank you for sharing this and how we learn to give thanks and wait for Him, his timing, his gifts... all coming in His perfect appointed time, always just what we need.... my heart is encouraged by you, knowing that there is another like me ;) Praying for you, my friend.
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