An obsession for Control

Recently I read The Muir House, written by Mary DeMuth. The story gripped me and held on tightly long after the pages ran out of words. 

I've been thinking a lot about this book in particular and how it relates to my life. I am really looking introspectively to see how I could grow more and how I have grown in the days that led me up to the reading.

As I reflect upon this read, I invite you to join me in the discussion. Get yourself a copy of the book and invite others to do the same. And pop in--anytime--to share some of the topics that have bubbled up for me through this book. 

[I'll do my best not to reveal too many specifics about the book for those of you haven't read it yet, and this place will try to stay topic focused.] 

And, by the way, if you *like* Mary DeMuth's Community Page on Facebook, you'll find lots of opportunities to win the book through various avenues.

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One of the central themes in The Muir House centers around Control--a biggie for many of us.

Willa, the main character, wrestles with hateful words that swirl in her head--words spoken to her from years past. The words give Willa a sense of Power and Entitlement, making her exercise Control over the distance she keeps from the person who spoke them.

She feels as though she owns *the right* to turn her back, even on family; after all, she was hurt--her heart shredded by the one person who should have sheltered her. Willa clings to Controlling the boundaries she creates in her heart; she's adamant she won't let that person in, or anyone else who just causes her hurt and confusion.

Yet, Willa feels a tug to know more about the life she's lived as a child. She is Obsessed with knowing more and longs for Control over the details. Willa can't control the memories from surfacing and make sense of them, and maybe if she knows the specifics of her childhood, she can make sense of her life. Maybe she can understand *why* she struggles the way she does.

Fear can rumble and blare in the shadows of living. And for Willa, she couldn't embrace her Now and live for the future when she couldn't control her Past. She wrestles with who she is and what she wants her life to become--who she *should* be and what she *should* do.

Willa wants to Control her future and she's afraid. 

Dreams. Hopes. Longings. We all have them. And we all question God's will and purpose as we sift through the visions of our heart. Sometimes we can't help to look back on our living and wonder what place these dreams have in our lives, and why are they there? 

Words spoken by another have cut into my heart deep. I have oozed out confusion, like Willa. I have bled hurt. I, too, have felt entitled to use that pain against hope--holding it up with entitlement and desperately clinging to Control over what a relationship is and what it could become.

Fear of being hurt and of my dreams being influenced by the person who causes me pain has been my motivation for Control.

Like Willa, I have questioned How I should live, Who I should be, What I should do. I have wrestled with the unknown details and lived a quest to know pieces of my life that would help me Control the future, all because I didn't have Control of the past.

Living forward is scary when memories haunt us. We want to sever ourselves from their place in our lives, and yet perhaps there's *purpose* in it all.

• What do you think about Control? 
• How have you seen evidence of it in your own life, or another person's? 
• Have you been obsessed with Control? 
• Have you lived in Fear over the future? 

[Join the discussion next week on Chapters 5-9.]