Still, though, there is pain.
Two words stick with me and follow me into marriage. And like the vine that chokes everything in my garden, they threaten my very life. Yet, they won't win.
My. Past.
The Man-Boy is still the boy-man who loved me [back then] without conditions. He still loves me without conditions. Yet, the past collides with our Today and sometimes I am reminded of the wound it made back then. There is still a rawness in the heart.
God can fix this. I know. And yet, He has allowed the memories of what I told the Man-Boy {about my past} to stick to his heart and his mind. That Story I shared stuck like super-glue.
Though I've [thought] I'd recovered from the pain [and I did], the realness of its impact on my life is overwhelming. It wasn't just *me* those choices affected.
The choices I made Then affected Today. They followed me and became a part of our together-story. And there's purpose in this. I hold on tight to this Truth.
I trust in the beauty-making through our story - first of life lived apart, and now more than a decade in - life lived together.
There's so much to say about all of this and maybe I'll write more over time. But, the most important thing is to first pause, and then remember. Not out of condemnation - out of Truth.
Yesterday is a part of Today. Your past collides with your future.
He resurrects Yesterday's choices blooming them into Today's radiant beauty.
He makes beauty from ashes. All. Is. Grace.
We must remember. Yesterday's choices are a part of our Story.
How we respond to Yesterday and live Today is our worship.
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