Saturday, November 6, 2010

a thankful heart :: love that keeps on keeping on

Love embraces instead of allowing distance.

I have only been a mother for six years.  I haven't lived long as a parent.  I'm only six.  Not just my son, but me.  I am six years old as a mother.

Grace gives me this perspective.

And Grace lovingly embraces me in my sadness.

I've been hurt and saddened by the reality that my son won't always need me to cuddle him, and he won't always express his happiness for my gentle, sweet and loving tone toward him.  His words feel hard sometimes.  They hurt.  He doesn't seem to appreciate me and he doesn't seem to want me around.

I feel value-less sometimes.

Yet, Grace reminds me of the Truth that I have great value.  I must continue on.  No. Matter. What.  I must be willing to give, even when it hurts and even when it doesn't seem to be wanted.

It hurts.

I walk away.  And I know I shouldn't.

But I do it anyway.

Love reminds me that I am only six-years a mother.  And like I do with my six-year-old, my Father holds me and doesn't make me feel badly.  My feelings were hurt.  It's painful sometimes to be a mother.  I'm still growing.  I'm still learning.  My Father doesn't expect that at nearly 31, I need to have it all together.  He doesn't stop holding me in his arms and caressing me, and showering me with his love.  His tone with me continues to be gentle.

Even when I shrug Him off and appear as though I don't need Him.

He keeps on keeping on in His love for me.  What an awareness to take with me as a mother.

For Love that embraces even though it hurts, I am thankful today.

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