Saturday, May 21, 2011

how fear limits me

I said I "never" would.  And now I feel an invitation to do the very thing I said I never would do.

I think of the reason I said no.  And it was to avoid the cliques.

There is goodness in all things and when I focus on the negative I've given it more power than it deserves.  

I think of how I lived so many years of my life avoiding situations and people because I was afraid of their clique.  I was afraid of what those people would think of me, and how I just might not fit in.  And even though I've grown through those years, those fears have followed me into today.

I couldn't wait to get out of high school because I felt awkward trying to live my own life.  I picture myself waddling through life, all insecure of even how to walk.  Like a bobble head not able to keep herself upright or straight.

What did I miss out on by avoiding certain situations?

I don't want to miss out today.  I don't want to be the one who says "no thank you" because of fear that I am not good enough.

Today when I live in the same community as those people who were a part of those cliques {way back in those high school years}, my tendency is to avoid.  And yet, I know we're different people with each passing day and I am good enough.  There's purpose for my life, for where I live, and for who I live near.

Shirking back, hiding and avoiding isn't an honorable way to live.

And so, I will boldly connect with others today - even if I am not a part of their little clique.  Maybe, having me a part of this community - or that event - will have purpose for them.

No matter what, I will not be limited by these fears.

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