Wednesday, October 31, 2012

worship | {Day 31}: Keeping it Real

I often ask him to tell me about his heart. And I am certain he thinks I'm certifiably crazy.

When I ask him about his day, it's usually an immediate and soft-toned "good," almost distant sounding. It's obvious to me his mind is really off thinking of something else, though he doesn't even realize it. With an urgent questioning before his mind goes too far away, I ask, Really? Was it really?

I want him to notice what is important to his heart.
I want him to feel free to be fully him.

Before I leave his bedroom I ask again, if he has anything he needs to share. Because, he needs to know that he can share anything. Mostly that he can tell Him. His prayers now, they're mostly all gratitude-speak, and I pray his spirit communes with His over his heart.

We talk about deliberately living how He made us -- with all our passions splayed out for the world to see. And how sometimes that means being honest about feelings that have nestled inside and burrowed into our heart.

We talk about how everyday moments are occasions for Real worship.

     Choosing to serve Him by living our authentic self out loud.
          Not fear...or pride...or anger...or even them.

     Keeping the entrance to our heart carefully guarded.
          Not keeping the hurt inside.

The moment awakens his memory and suddenly truth blurts out. He's been angry and holding it inside all this time, completely mindless to how it's burrowed itself in his sweet heart. And how a stone has turned up and his heart it's now solid, not soft.

He doesn't want to listen to a thing I've got to say. And his father, he's become his enemy. Suddenly I see the battle enraged.

We talk about what really matters most -- freedom over feelings. And he learns a bit more about forgiveness in that moment. How it's really more for us than for them.

Courageously, he reaches for it. Forgiveness. And there, his heart beats softly again.

The stone is rolled away.


  1. Rolling away the stones. Yes, that is what we can help each other do.

    Love this:
    "everyday moments are occasions for Real worship."
    I want to look for those moments in my day today, and use them to worship.

  2. Forgiveness more for us than them...Oh, yes.

  3. Managing it well is so tough, isn't it? I know I also do the bottle-release thing!

  4. Keep asking your good questions. You are loving well, Amy. You really are. xo

  5. hey there, amy,

    i wanted to stop by for a visit b/c i saw your comment on my (in)courage post -- unfortunately in the spam folder. (i think b/c it looks like entered blogapot instead of blogspot for your URL, & i'm sorry i don't know how to de-spam you!) anyway, am i ever glad i did. b/c you had me at "I often ask him to tell me about his heart. And I am certain he thinks I'm certifiably crazy."

    i have the privilege of being a mom to a precious 8-yr-old boy, & i, too, ask him about his heart. often. (and i know that "good," too -- it's always how his day was. until i ask a few more questions during our drive home.)

    and the timing of my discovering this post is such a God thing b/c just last night, we, too, were talking about something somebody said that he didn't like. i praised him for sharing it with me (the "non-good," that is), we talked about our response, we talked about grace, and we talked about seeing past the imperfect words/presentation to see the heart behind them. and i shared that i, too, struggle with that -- wrongly prioritizing my feelings over forgiveness. and so once again, i trust that His power will be made perfect in my weakness.

    thanks again for your hugely encouraging comment -- just sorry the others can't see it!

    blessings to you & yours, amy,