Monday, September 17, 2012

celebrating this heart

What you're doing in me is amazing, Lord.

I cannot even get through saying that without tears welling up and my heart rising up into my throat.

How people can deny you just astounds me. I mean, Look! You are Everywhere! And the way people worship in their living is undeniably your handiwork.

These comments people leave me and the notes they send to my inbox--I am in awe. For my prayer has always been to honor you. That your heart would be more evident in the lives of those who visit in this place. And truly, you are moving in these words you enable me to write. Even I stand amazed.

It's not about me. It's all about You.

When my mother worked for a cardiologist all those years ago, I had an ache in me to be a heart surgeon. How a person can hold a heart in her hand and influence the rhythm to save a life just astounded me. That one fleshy organ lying there on a table can have that much of a responsibility is just the coolest thing.

And here, you're doing this incredible work in my own heart. The passion you give me is to See your heart and to encourage others to experience your heart more fully.

I am often brought aware of my doubt every time I see you move in your amazing ways and yet, your gentle Surgeon's hands massage with grace and remind me that you're growing my faith.

You teach me that doubt is part of the living this side of Heaven. It's necessary for my need for you to be constant. I am grateful for the doubt that you reveal to me. Most of all because of the sheer Awe that I have of you.

I'll never get tired of gazing at the sky...at the warmth and strength of a child's hug...at the richness of color...at how lives connect and how you knit this world so tightly together...

You're truly awesome, God.
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{Grace} Unwrapped...

...how every time I hear "Momma?...," I feel your love...

...seeing how getting our pup was just the best thing for our boy...

...the ways you lead me to trust that The Boy being an "only child" is okay...

...how you remind me The Boy needs to be ready for a heart change...

...the quiet in a day...

...hearing my colleague's chiming clock in her office across from mine...

...how work teaches me about grace...


...the ways you use my own story to teach me how to *live loved*...


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