sometimes...

...maybe we need a change in pace.

I wake up before the men in my life and just sit in the early morning light of the day.  Soaking in the stillness and wondering what God will have of me on this day.

It's Sunday morning and I realize that I haven't even heard the birds.  And I think maybe this is a day of rest for them, too.  Maybe they've gone on a weekend holiday from my backyard.

The Man-Boy is out early for a round of golf and he leaves tired {and so am I}, and I know his leaving early is for me.  He wants to give me time for myself later today - before the little guy has his own scheduled activity.  We all get our own piece of today.

I hold the Boy-Man and we talk about what we might do in this day.  He wants to play with a friend.  It's still so early -- I tell him that hardly anyone is awake and ready to play at seven o'clock on a weekend morning!

And so the Boy-Man lies on the couch and tries to just relax.

I need to clean the house.  But, not right now.  There's not much I feel like doing right now.

I watch the child and I soak this in.

Maybe, just maybe - this moment is just what I need.  This moment of not knowing what is coming next and just being here.

When teenagers are sleeping in from a night at the prom, and parents are breathing sighs of relief that she's home safely and he wasn't reckless...

And other parents are celebrating that the last tuition payment has been paid and now the rest is up to their {soon-to-be-in-a-few-hours} college graduate...

I think of how I'm not there {yet} and I just have this day.

This day when the small Boy-Man tells me he will go to college in Florida so he can go to the castle {at Disney} any time he wants...

This day when the Boy-Man still says Mama as a question each time he wants to tell me - any. thing...

This day when the Boy-Man still asks if I would {please} cut his pancakes...

This day when the Boy-Man and I skip our way through a walk and play Simon Says...

This day when the Boy-Man is brought to gutteral sobbing when he sees someone who his heart realizes he's missed so much, and I weep along with him as my heart understands his pain.

This day - this moment - sometimes just needs to be as it is.  No plans.  No activity.  Just comfort in the stillness and smiles at the simplicity.

Sometimes we just need to be here.