Five Minute Friday :: Joy

My participation in Lisa-Jo's Five Minute Friday's was out of curiosity. I wasn't sure what Just. Writing. could do for me. And so I took the step. 

For me, you might want to know that writing isn't difficult. It doesn't take me a long time. And truthfully, I don't really care what that might say about the quality of my writing. 

At this point in my life I write my heart. I write simply because I have to--kind of like breathing and exercising. It's all good for me. Writing is my must do. It's for me, not for you. 

Writing for just five minutes is challenging. I'd rather write longer--and hence this very long prelude to my real post. But, writing for at least five minutes makes me do it on the days when I struggle to sit; when I get the feeling it doesn't matter and sometimes I think other parts of life are just more important. The dark quiet of the dawn is my time--the corner of the day when my heart awakens with each word I let loose and the real Me is invited to participate in life.

Just five minutes is freedom to me--to Just. Write., knowing that there is real encouragement on the other side, and sometimes I need that. 

And here begins this week's *true* just-five minutes...

Joy

When I live and notice that it hasn't been for you, there's such a *gladness* that fills my heart.

It's a struggle to not worry about pleasing you or making everything be the way you want it. And so when I Just. Live. My. Way., there's this *peace* that fills the air.

Knowing that I am beautiful and when I mistakes, that they are just that--a certainty about Purpose gives me *confidence.*

There's nothing quite like it--this Joy.

It comes softly, calling the heart toward it after a gut wrenching loss of life, or an enormous fight that left me teetering on the edge of giving up.

She woos me toward her and wipes the grit out of my eyes to See--there's beauty in All, and purpose, too. 

The Truth of this purpose is what leaves me *content*--full of Joy--as I breathe in this gladness, and peace, and confidence.

I can trust in this with all my life. It's surely Heaven sent.
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when obedience is the requirement

There are times when a tug on our heart invites us to *stick {our} foot out*--get out of the boat, so to speak--and yet there's no guarantee we'll walk. It might not make any sense. But we're asked (called?) to obey anyhow. And it's a *risk*.

Our obedience is requested; possibly even required.

What do we do in these times?

We might think someone else is more capable, or more qualified, or older (and therefore has more credibility or worth) ... yet, we're asked to apply anyway. We really doubt that we'll get the job. And we might be fairly certain applying is a smidge like playing the lottery with our chances {for *success*} being pret' near the same ...

Still, we feel the tug to play any way.

I'm not sure what this means, and when I get to thinking about it I really start to question God's plan and I wonder if we can miss out on something by not accepting the invitation, or obeying *the call.*

One thing I do know, is that I sometimes really do feel the prompt in my heart that He's *in this* and He often has me do things that really make no sense at all. I know that I've got to respond. Living has taught me this.

I See Him more when I obey *His call.*

Though I still question whether I *heard the call* right, I trust Him more as I live. I surrender more of myself - more of what I {think I} want and what {I think} is good for me. I just let Him take over.
I question less. And I begin to See that there is purpose. Even if it doesn't make any sense at all.

Recently, an opportunity was presented to me and fear told me I wasn't good enough. 
My Father told me to apply anyway.

I really think I heard these words:

         You won't get [the position], but this *stepping out* is important - it's necessary.         
         You honor me when you obey my call. Trust me. 

And I did trust Him - (at least I wanted to) - and I do. {But really, Lord, why?!}

I stepped out of the boat. I took a risk. I obeyed *the call.*

Still, though, it's hard to trust. Faith is the belief in things unseen and though I See when I pay attention, it takes a lot to drown out all the noise and just be still in His presence, trusting in Him with all of my heart.

How about you? 

Have you been invited, called, encouraged, or requested to do something recently that didn't {seem to} make any sense at all?

Maybe you still haven't Seen the purpose, and you *know* it was a necessary part of your story?

Tell me.

And please, y'all, will you encourage me?
Because, I'm in one of those Trusting places where I can't See, but I know ...

... like Davy (when he killed the goose early on) in Leif Enger's Peace Like A River ...

*it's not confidence, it's {life}knowledge.*