the hard work | {Day 2}: Keeping it Real

Colleagues see me cut an apple and they feel embarrassed for their McDonald's.

I want to hide under a rock.
     Why aren't their choices good enough for them?

And then my own question is turned to myself.
     Why aren't *my* own choices good enough for me? 

I say I'm more comfortable with my body,
     until I enjoyed too many sweets one day and the next week notice the calories taking shape.

          ...Or until I look at her. Or her.

Folks say they admire my obedience or my discipline. But they don't know the Real.

They don't know how long it took me to surrender my want.
     Or the process it took for Him to strengthen me.

Truth is, I'd rather eat a brownie than choose an apple.
     And I'd rather sleep in (whatever that is) than run in the dark of the new day.

Real is raw. 

     It's morning's face down on the carpet whining to God about how I can't because I just don't *think* I can.

     It's falling asleep on the couch at 8:15 each evening, tired from 4:30 a.m. wake-ups.

     It's waking up tired but doing it any. way.

Real requires commitment. 

     It's *seeing* strong come from weak me.

     It's appreciation for the hard work and detest for the *quick fix.*

     It's building up from floor level.

Real requires *willingness.* 

     To admit I can't, and choose faith that He can. And to let Him do the rest.

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