Wednesday, October 31, 2012

11 days and Grace

I awoke this morning aware that it is Halloween but not immediately thinking of what the day represents in my story.

While on a run I communed with the memory:

     Freshman year in college,
          and the words, "This wasn't supposed to happen to me. I am the good girl."

Halloween was canceled for me that year. There were no treats. Or tricks. Just truth.

We used protection and yet nothing is 100 percent. Besides, protection doesn't void sin.

So there I was, sitting at the dinner table sharing with my parents what I'd just discovered. They asked me of my plan and I was shocked that I was expected to have one. I was stunned and still reeling from the news. I expected love, acceptance and grace.

I didn't realize until today that today marks 11 days until my birthday: 11-11.

For years, today was to me all about that memory of finding out what sin can do.

And for years, today always led to 11-12, the day I chose to snuff out life with yet another sin.

Eleven days from today I'll turn another year. And twelve days from today I'll remember one who didn't.

That I can possibly be a blessing -- to Him and to others -- it's remarkable and nothing short of grace.

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  1. This brought tears to my eyes. God bless you.

  2. Wow, thank you for sharing so honestly. There is real grace in that indeed.

  3. It's all grace, and praise God for it. Thank you for living in honesty.

  4. I am so very sorry. Isn't the lavish, overwhelming grace of Jesus so amazing? I'm over here from Imperfect Prose to thank you so much for your encouraging comment to me on my guest post.

  5. No words, just one great big hug that I wish I could give you in person, but for now, parentheses will have to do, ((Amy)). Love you.

  6. wrapping arms of grace around you
    and tugging on the sleeve of the Father
    for sweet comfort and peace
    for every raw place in your heart
    ....I send you healing love.