Thursday, May 23, 2013

how trust is a game changer

Here’s what I think . . . 

It takes faith as small as a mustard seed, and that’s about all I’ve got anyway, so I figure I’m good. And that’s grace, so I’m choosing to receive it and live on. 

With that, I’m going to hold my tiny little seed and declare that on its own it’s crazy, wild, and scary, all at once -- this dream (these dreams, actually -- as in, plural) that follows me around and never leaves me alone.

It’s a nagging that I find myself talking out loud about to folks who probably think I'm half crazy. 

Who I share with doesn't make a bit of sense to me. I blurt to seemingly random people and sometimes feel so irresponsible in my sharing. I talk about the dreams with certainty and sometimes when I stop and think about it, I feel so silly. 

I have done this since long before I can even remember -- boldly declare . . . until it started to become more Real. An invitation delivered to my heart to deliberately pursue the crazy that seeps into the crevices of my heart suddenly made bold seem too scary. Too uncomfortable. Simply, too much.

I believe we are called to a life of Different and that He’s been preparing us for this in many ways. 

We have a child with an open heart and a willing spirit, and who sees so much further than skin and circumstances. The Boy-Man is a gift to the world (beginning with my heart) for the way he accepts and embraces and truly loves without limit, and believes the whole wide world is full of possibilities. In fact, where people aren’t loving and where limits are claimed with stakes cemented in the ground is exactly where Boy-Man is provoked, irritated, confused, and sad. He was created to be wide-eyed and wonder-filled. 

There is so much to learn from the pure and brave trust of a child. 

So, here’s the thing . . . if I really believe I will be a part of His radical, amazing, miraculous story of grace in a very serious and personal way, then I need to trust Him . . . God, not my own self understanding. 

I need to trust that He will match us with the child who needs us most, and who He will use to rescue us more than anyone. 

I need to trust that He has it all figured out and that He will enable me, and us, to parent a child who might not look like us, or whose hair texture I might have to learn about. 

I need to trust that He will leverage my influence to lead people, even in places unfamiliar and seemingly daunting. 

I need to trust that He will place me in exactly the position where I will learn and grow, and mostly shine in my strengths -- the talents He crafted in me. 

Who am I to say what skin color a child in our home will have? 
Who am I to say whether I want a girl or a boy? 
Who am I to say what is too risky?
Who am I to say whether I'm wrong?

Because, influence and acceptance is so much wider. Love is so much more potent. And this is a game changer for someone . . . some people. 

And, leadership is risky business. It's tender in its push/pull of humbleness and confidence -- constantly making one dependent upon Him . . . trusting our platform can make a difference for even just one. 

Willingness is where it begins. As scared as I am, willing I surely am. 

Now it's time to do. Live by faith. Go and do. 

So, whatever He wants. Whoever He wants. Whenever. Whatever. However. 

Here I am, Lord. I trust that there’s a story being lived out right now and I trust you will push us, pull us, guide us, provoke us . . . whatever you need to do to align our lives with the others who you want to love through us -- in our home, office, and community. Be glorified. 

Dream God-sized Dreams

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1 comment:

  1. Amy, I'm praying for you that God will give you all the wisdom and understanding you need. And He can make the right match, because that is what He does.