Friday, December 16, 2011


He walks in the house after a full day of working two part-time jobs.

I've taken the day off for me. And I've felt good about it. Rested.
Productive, yet Rested.

In one moment, the peace I savor feels invaded. I almost feel suffocated.
He walks in and it's less cheer and more fear that I feel.
Because of his mood.

His lack of enthusiasm sours my heart. Curt responses hurt my feelings before we've even been in the same room longer than 30 seconds.

Taking one long deep breath, I reach for my Father. Calling out for His peace, I fear myself--that I'll choose revenge for how his attitude so quickly invaded me.

In calling to Him, I See something I didn't expect. 

How we are connected--as one--is why I hurt.

His feelings overwhelm me and make me ache inside. I can feel his pain. He is tired and I suddenly feel it, too; though I'd rather not.

Our Father feels our pain and He never begrudges us for the times when we don't choose His peace.

This Truth rings so loudly in my ear. And suddenly, I am just thankful for how we are connected.

I am on my knees in gratitude, and in surrender of my own tranquility. I choose to allow his anxious, tired, bereaved feelings to be a part of our home. I choose to accept him as he is right now, though it's a hard choice.

And there I find it again--Rest. 
In the choosing Him through him, there is Peace and Rest. 

Today's post is part of my friend, Lisa-Jo's fun challenge each Friday to 

     "Write for five, short, bold beautiful minutes... 
     Unscripted and unedited...
     Without worrying if it's just right or not."

Follow A {Grace} full *life* on Facebook and Twitter.


  1. What a timely post. Similar walk-in-the-door tension has been in our house this week, and I hadn't understood it the way you did. Thanks for speaking from your heart; it really blessed mine. I want to be consistent in choosing Him through him...

  2. Amy...I am always blessed by your honest, vulnerable heart...this is just beautiful...the simple truth...but truth is hard to receive...but I love how you yielded to the One who will keep you connected...
    Blessings to you...and I pray for healing...

  3. you talk about peace. i don't know peace. what do you do when you've dug yourself in so deep with a mistake that you can't get out of it, no matter what you do? what if you've stopped giving yourself second chances because you don't think you deserve one and you're convinced you can't make things better? what if you wake up every day believing you're a lousy parent and that you've miserably failed your kids because you run away from everything that's hard? what if you've lived your life this way for so long you can't see any other way to live? and what if you're so afraid of what people think of you that you can't share your fears and failures with anyone? what if you can't unburden yourself with any of this garbage? what do you do then?

  4. I understand that. When God has made the two become one, you don't get to separate your feelings from each other. It is an odd connection for me, seeing as I waited til later in life to experience it. I haven't had as long to get used to it. Glad of your surrender. You show the example for me to follow.

  5. I appreciate your outlook on the walk-in-the door scenario. It gives me new perspective that I am going to take to heart and hopefully be more patient! Thank you!

  6. To *Anonymous*--I wish I had the perfect words, but the truth is that only He provides the way. I lived just what you describe. Truly. Every bit of what you described is how I felt about myself--that there was no hope for me and that I just screw everything up. Just what you ask is what Grace is about. Not until I became serious about hunting that down--searching for Grace is all about--did I See. And out of that came the title for my blog. Would you please write to me? My contact e-mail is in the Meet Amy page. I'd be honored to continue this conversation privately. And most of all, to share my road to Seeing and experiencing Peace. There was one day when I literally heard the glass wall I'd created, completely shatter. I pray that for you. It's a risk to delve into trust. And it's only there where we receive Peace through the incredible Grace He gives us, even when we fail again and again and again...that's exactly what His Grace is all about. Lifting you up, friend.

  7. Gosh, I want to respond, but I really don't know what to say. Such raw honesty in your words. Thank you for sharing your heart. I will remember this post the next time my husband comes home from work and he's aggravated and rather than allowing his frustrations to invade me, I will pray for God's peace to invade us both. Blessings...

  8. wow. so real so true. and we"ve all been there. way to go. i know there is light at the end of the tunnel if you continue to choose HIM over self. many blessings

  9. First of all, so glad you got your day of rest in. But the second part of this story is all too real for those of us in relationships. We are so emotionally connected to our spouses, that it's difficult to detach. Sometimes I think of all the molecules and electrons pinging around, and how when the person enters the room, those particles from each person begin to orbit each other, bringing a metaphysical connection. That's what we feel with the presence. I know that's a bit out there, just a way to think about it.
    Finally, you did such a humble and generous thing by accepting and embracing it. That, right there, is your grace extended.

  10. What a great truth to share with others! I'm so thankful for rest in God, His steadfast consistency is something I am still learning to be thankful for everyday!

    Brian Reilly