Wednesday, June 1, 2011

never question

She tells me to never question whether it was the right thing.

The nine months when I loved nine {little and bigger} Boy-Men gave me way more than I could give to any one. Even though I've questioned.

She tells me that it was more than for me.  So much more.

I see it.  The purpose is wide.  And, His love stretches far.

Our choice to live with eight teenage boys from different backgrounds gave all of us an opportunity to experience something so much bigger.  

Those Teenage-Boy-Men who were given A Better Chance academically, gave my own {little} Boy-Man a better chance to learn about love.

And, my own {little} Boy-Man gave those {bigger} Boy-Men a better chance to experience unconditional acceptance.

That choice we made had purpose.  

Out one evening to welcome bike riders back from a long journey, the {little} Boy-Man sees one of his brother's we lived with last year.  And the little one's heart remembers how he misses his brother.  So. Much.  His sobs are gutteral - from his spirit.  His feelings cast out and the pain evident.   

The Teenage-Boy-Man is stronger now and his arms envelop the {littler} Boy-Man - his brother.  And it's unspoken, yet my mother and I both witness it - the love these two brothers share is beautiful.  Breath. Taking.

Tears stream down my own face.  And the {little} Boy-Man continues to sob.

Time has passed since we'd seen our beloved Teenage-Boy-Man.  {The quiet, gentle, sincere one.}  

A lot of time has passed.  Nearly a year.

And yet the love is still strong.  The feelings of brotherhood still attached to the heart.

My own mother watches, and she too weeps.  The Teenage-Boy-{soon-to-be}-Man hugs her, too - twice.  And words aren't necessary.  

I am moved at how this {bigger} Boy-Man gets it.  He quietly gives others a better chance.  

People stand nearby and watch us all, and they too are moved.

I see it and I {finally} believe it, the choice we made was an important one.  

It tore my heart in pieces when we decided to leave {those future men} and move into our own house.  I questioned the purpose of that one-year and I felt guilty for choosing just our family.  I had to learn to forgive myself, and to live in freedom.  

I know now that even that decision {to leave} was important.  It was right.

And now, I see that I can't question.  

Indeed, my mother is right again.  (Wasn't she always?)  

There is purpose {beyond myself} in that choice we made to sacrifice our own house and learn about building a home.

That one-year imprinted on more hearts than my own and that moment affects these moments.

*This* is love never to be questioned.


  1. What a moving story. Even without knowing the details behind it, I am drawn into this idea of the power of sacrifice - of giving up for others. For other people, and the length of impact that can have.

    Well done.

  2. Incredible story! It is so awesome to hear stories of real love and sacrafice like that. Very encouraging! I'm sure it will be something that you continue to see blessings from even as time goes on. Blessings to you!