Monday, February 7, 2011

a really *crazy* idea

I think it's *funny*.  It'll surely not happen.  Yet, it's something I've always said I wanted to do, and something that won't leave my mind.

It's still funny, though.  Quite a {silly} idea.  I haven't lived all the way to the end of my story yet, and since I decided that I don't need to run a marathon in my life, (even though it is also something I've always said I wanted to do) I think it's crazier still, to be even an inkling of an idea.

Such a {crazy-silly} idea.  

A few have suggested that I *write a book*.  One friend has said I was "born for this."  A family member said I "should think about publishing."  I'm not sure what to think about all of it.  It's {foolish} craziness.  I think, those comments are not meant for me.

It's not as though the two people who said those affirming comments to me don't mean anything to me - they surely do!  Yet, why do I doubt their comment and chuckle them away like some misplaced idea?! Not for me.

No way...

Surely, those comments weren't meant for me.  And yet, two more comments have also somehow stuck inside my noggin, as *crazy* as they sound to me.  Strangers have said that I am "a writer," and that I "write from the heart, and [that I] give gifts of hope and grace and love."  The chick who wrote me that must been mistaken, or perhaps she is just digging deep to be encouraging.  Falsely encouraging.

(For the record, if anything, it's not me who gives those gifts - it's God through me.  And still, I doubt my worth.)

I have no clue how the rest of my story will read.  Yet, for some unexplainable reason I have this incredible excitement bubbling up, almost like a dolphin rising to the surface, giddy about the sunshine she'll see when she gets there, and she bounds up with sheer ecstacy at the joy.  So. Joy. Full.

Another really {crazy} idea of hopefulness has risen up within me recently, and this I can barely even muster the thoughts to share with even my Lord.  It's a child-like joy that for now remains just a sprinkle of hope.  A *glimmer of possibility*.

I picture the middle of an Ocean and its vastness stretching far and wide.  Right there smack dab in the middle there is wonder at how it all connects.  And then I think of *people* and how the world seems so small sometimes, all of us so strangely connected.  So when the Ocean seems so *big* and yet the world seems so *small*, {hope} for the wildest possibilities seems to bubble up with question marks instead of confident exclamation marks.

Holding tight to dreams can keep *hope* alive.

Being aware of how real possibilities can be, and how they just might have a place in your story, keeps *joy* alive.

The awareness that a possibility does not mean a *sure thing*, leads to a risky choice.  Choose hope?

I surely believe that the risk {to choose hope} isn't ever wasted, and the joy is to be lived loudly - exclaimed, even!

So, we'll see where two recent and *colorful* sprinkles of hope will go in my own story.  For now, I am giddy with possibility, and for that I'm incredibly grateful, especially after so many days of doubting that the hope is even worth it.


What possibilities make you giddy with excitement, even in all their crazy-silliness?  


Gifts of Gratitude...

#21.  Strength to shovel the driveway when my Groom is too sick to do it himself, and the memory to do it the way he likes.

#22.  How good it feels to say yes to "Huggy Time!" when I know the boy is just delaying shower time, and knowing that he won't always look to me for a comfortable excuse to cuddle!

#23.  The boy's first fish made it two whole days of living in our house - still alive!

#24.  How stretching and breathing deep bring such healing to a worn out and sore body.

#25.  The aroma of brownies baking in the oven.  Heavenly!

#26.  Awareness as my mother is complaining about her own life that her own anxiousness does not need to be placed on me.  I can care, but her worries are her own.  And so I lift her to Jesus, the true Healer.

#27.  A delivery of a dozen roses from the widower next door, as a thank you "for [our] kindness" toward him.

#28.  Seeing the boy and his daddy do their secret handshake, followed by sweet hug, at the door before school.  The sickness of my Groom doesn't keep him down today to see the boy off for his day.

#29.  Hope for {crazy} possibilities.

#30.  Having our family of three together during evening's again after the coach's season concluded.


  1. And He will give you the subject matter and the opportunity. He most certainly has given you the desires of your heart... Can't wait to see how he'll grow them and orchestrate the how and when's!
    Much love-

  2. As I said before, I think you should go with it!!!